The importance of being earnestly you…

Firstly, may I just say in the politest of ways…Bollocks to being perfect…

I can’t emphasise this enough, perfection is a farce, a facade and completely inauthentic. #beautycomesinallshapesandsizes #youarebeautiful as you are, short, tall, average, fat, slim, medium, average, brown, white, black, yellow – whatever colour! Blue eyes, brown eyes, green, hazel, grey, mixed. Long hair, short hair, straight hair, curly hair or bald! You are totally unique!! Don’t ever let any numpty tell you that you aren’t enough, don’t ever let any numpty make you feel less than you are. Life is this amazing, crazy, fabulous, shitty, exciting, calm, volatile, sublime, explosive thing! But it is YOUR ONE life in this body! Shouldn’t YOU LIVE IT on your terms? 

Why being you is so important…

A past memory popped up on one of my social media platforms and it is most definitely a philosophy I live by now. For many years I didn’t, I was a people pleaser and moulded myself into what I thought people wanted me to be or would like and each time I did that I felt more lost. In terms of being a kind person, this has not and nor will it ever change – I don’t know how not to be kind or considerate and if truth be known I don’t want to be any other way when it comes to kindness, that is a huge part of who I am. I guess my ‘shape-shifting’ came in the form of always doing what everyone else wanted and not allowing my voice to come through, just in case I was disapproved of. 

Well over the years, more so after my breast tumour scare and more recently covid, I came to realise that my life was, well actually IS far too precious to live it pleasing those who, in the grand scheme of things really have no significance in or on my life whatsoever! And lessons from my past showed me that, no matter how much I compromised myself some people were never going to like me, some people were never going to be kind to me and some people would outright just hate me, and really in the end, how much did their approval or ‘affection’/lack thereof, really mean to how my life would continue. And the truth was/is – IT DID/DOES NOT! So I made the decision a few years ago to say BOLLOCKS!! I’m not living my life for any randoms ever again! I do not seek your approval because I approve of myself! And you know what I’ve been so much more content, peaceful and happier since. 

The lesson here for me was/is, that no matter how kind you are, how considerate you are, however funny you are, how clever/intelligent you are, how slim/curvaceous you are, whatever your skin colour is, whatever language(s) you speak, whatever vehicle you drive, where you live, what you do for a living, none of it will matter to some people, because not everyone will like or love you and at the same time you won’t like or love everyone you meet and you know what – THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FINE. Just don’t change who you are to ‘fit in’ because you’ll lose the very thing that makes you, YOU!! 

Why I choose to be a raggy doll…

I loved the children’s tv show from the 80’s – The Raggy Dolls, I think it did a great job in helping kids of that generation accept and embrace their imperfections. Today we live in a world where kids and adults – well, basically everybody – is made to feel crap/shitty/bollocks about themselves if they don’t have the flat washboard stomach, if they don’t have silky hair, if they don’t have ‘perfectly’ formed bodies! If they don’t live this exotic lifestyle where they frolic in the sand, swim in the sea and live like Tarzan and Jane in nature. This is just complete and utter bollocks, let’s be honest not everyone likes the sea, maybe they’d prefer to live like Heidi in the Austrian Alps! Or like The Little House on the Prairie, or maybe they’re happy living in a two-up, two-down house and working 9-5! 

I’ve met many ‘perfect’ looking people over the years through many of the retreats I’ve done and the truth is I think trying to maintain a facade of perfection is far more damaging, not just for the ‘plastic fantastic Barbie/Ken’ but for those who literally will harm themselves trying to achieve a body that is, in all reality and practicality not always achievable, though I add here, never say never and I’m sure there are some who may work really really hard to achieve what they think is the perfect body – but to what detriment? Most of the ‘plastic fantastics’ that I’ve met are really not very nice or kind, they are so obsessed with their external appearance and maintaining this ‘ethereal’ facade and image that they forget how to treat people kindly or compassionately, and the only ones that they do treat nicely are the ones paying them to be treated nicely! 

Me personally, I’d rather be around imperfect people who are kind and compassionate than be around the ‘plastics’….this is just my opinion and I’m not advocating being obese or unhealthy by any means, just that I advocate living in balance, because unhealthy doesn’t always mean fat, you can be a ‘plastic fantastic’ and still be unhealthy in your mind……balance is key, embracing your imperfections is important, self-acceptance is important! Being KIND is important!!! Being a Raggy Doll is important!